You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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