do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
