Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
why do cheetos always look like penises
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize