Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize