I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
