We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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