Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
