I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
