super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
