Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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