I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
