Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
