Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
