I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
