Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Randomize