I hate your face
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
