I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I party with great urgency now.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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