oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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