I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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