How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
