Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
