He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I could have mohawked her pubes.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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