bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
