Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
