OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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