after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
