I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
