I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
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