Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
