What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
