We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
