Soap is not a condiment
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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