4 words: hood of his car
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
