What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
