Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
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