I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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