my room smells like sperm. sweet.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
