I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He passed out mid-signature
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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