You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I bet he comes in French.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
