I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
