I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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