We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
there's paper in my vomit.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
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She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
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I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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