he shaved USA in his pubs
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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