ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
