There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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