operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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