Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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