Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
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He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
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I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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