I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
