At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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