well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
True strength comes from lack of pants
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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