You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
