If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
