We won't sleep together?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
