I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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