Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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