check it out our google latitudes are spooning
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
