Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
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and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Green mimosas i think yes
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
ok first of all what the fuck
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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