Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
