ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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