YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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