does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
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I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
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I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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